days Will You Live To 83,
Will You Ever Welcome Me,
Will You Show Me Something That Nobody Else Has Seen?
Mature: adjective,
1. fully grown or developed
verb,
1. to (cause to) become mature.
No prizes for guessing what this entrys about.
Has something so insignifcant ever been so very significant? Have you ever noticed the way things change? Or the lack of noticing these things..
Anyway, I went to a party last night. Kris' and it was fun, it was a laugh I saw some college friends and met some new people too. There is nothing significant about this. It was a house party, there were about six of us. Nothing profound here.
And yet there was.
The last time I was at a house party I made a complete fool of myself. I look back on this with shame. Last year I went to an eighteenth birthday party and I can't look at the girl (whose party it was) in face, because although it was nearly twelve months ago the shame is still strong. I was an idiot at the time. You see, I was a stupid fifteen year old, who thought that she was being clever. It failed drastically. It took me three episodes to teach me a lesson. And I very ashamed of myself. You wouldn't believe how much.
Last night I came home, in the right frame of mind and it felt so good. Im not a silly fifteen year old anymore, thankfully. I can hold my head up high.
Everyone was staying at Kris' last night, but I came home at 11:30. Why should I lie to my parents? They've done so much for me, I'm not going to tell them I'm staying at a girls house so I can get drunk and do something I regret. Besides, I'm a paranoid person, so I wouldn't have been able to relax and enjoy myself.
It felt good being able to stay incontrol of the situation. It felt almost grown up. Life teaches you some valuble lessons, it took me three mistakes to realise where I was going wrong. But its sorted.
And I'm still learning from life, I expect I'll probably be doing this until I die.
But isn't that the point?
I Wear My Own Crown And Sadness And Sorrow,
And Who'd Have Thought Tommorrow Could Be So Strange?
My Loss, And Here We Go Again.
porcelainsky
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